Emotional Affairs

Some signs of an affair:

1. Telephone irregularities

  • Increase in wrong numbers or hang-ups
  • Spouse wants to talk on phone in private or whispers/acts uncomfortable if talking in front of you.
  • Is secretive about cell phone bills

2. Spouse begins talking a lot about another person (this is the beginning of the affair)

3. New behaviors (especially sexually) changes in likes/dislikes, more interested in appearance, weight loss, etc.

4. Unexplained time away from home or unusual demands of time from work.

5. On frequent occasions is unable to be reached by phone at work or by cell phone.

6. Spouse seems secretive about credit card receipts, specific whereabouts and daily activities.

Note to suspicious partners: None of the signs above are foolproof. Don’t confront until you have indisputable proof of the affair. Otherwise there will likely be further lying and more damage occurs. You may want to consult with someone who is objective before acting on your suspicions. Also, how you go about the confrontation can be important so you might need some help strategizing. (For example, never confront impulsively when your spouse and the affair partner are together.)

7. Spouse starts acting distant and preoccupied and begins to say things like:

  • “It’s nothing about you, it’s just that I’m unhappy and there is really nothing you can do to help or change it.”
  • “It feels as if we are more like roommates than spouses.”
  • “I don’t feel ‘in love’ with you anymore.”
  • “You don’t seem like my soul-mate and that is really what I want in my life.”

Recommended article: How to identify emotional affair signs and cope with the aftermath

Judith Barnett
(919) 403-0400

Judith Barnett, Ph.D, Clinical Psychologist, Marriage Counselor & Infidelity Specialist in Chapel Hill, NC
20 Years Experience

Completed Externship in Emotionally Focused Therapy, June, 2011

Services Available:

-Certified Imago Relationship  Therapist & Marriage Counselor
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