Marriage Counseling Experience
The marriage counseling experience for people who have never been in counseling before can seem somewhat intimidating beforehand.
You may ask yourself:
“How can talking to a complete stranger about such personal issues be comfortable, much less helpful? And, what can someone who has just met me and my spouse say that could be insightful, relevant or useful?”
Many of my clients tell me they had these very same thoughts just before coming to their initial appointment and even considered cancelling. But then they tell me that somewhere in about the first 15-30 minutes they start to feel understood, relieved, and not judged at all (a common fear also). (Especially when the topic is infidelity, the unfaithful spouse may feel guilty and believe that I will view them negatively. But my job is to accept, understand, and help – not be judgmental in any way). By the time a couple leaves, they usually feel supported and as if we have formed a working alliance to address their problems. There is plenty of time to address specific fears and concerns that each individual might have during the first or subsequent sessions.
If this sense of alliance does not form then we will talk about it very directly and figure out exactly how to achieve that sense of safety and respite for each person/couple. It is a prerequisite for effective therapy sessions to have a positive, even-handed (I never side with one spouse against another) environment in my office where each partner feels equally well-represented and understood. You both deserve that emotional safety and I strive in every way to provide it.
There is more information available on this topic, if you still have questions not answered by this section please call me. I’m usually available within 24-48 hrs to answer questions, schedule phone coaching sessions or office coaching/therapy sessions, or direct you to other resources.
Remember: Research / statistics on infidelity indicates that receiving counseling after the discovery of an affair is the single best predictor of recovery.