Choosing to Forgive or Not
It is not always necessary nor possible to forgive but often it IS possible if you know how to get past the hurt, the obsessions, the breach of trust, the flashbacks, the thoughts that haunt you, etc.
For true forgiveness, it is often thought that you need the betraying partner’s cooperation ; it is very much a two-way street. The wounding partner has to learn what to do and how to show remorse and earn the forgiveness that will be so liberating to both parties.
There are requirements of the wounded partner such as sharing certain important feelings and criteria for remorseful behaviors. There is much more to be said about this. It is complicated but can be a very fulfilling and enriching process. It often requires some coaching from a qualified therapist.
There is more information available on this topic, if you still have questions not answered by this section please call me. I’m usually available within 24-48 hrs to answer questions, schedule phone coaching sessions or office coaching/therapy sessions, or direct you to other resources.
Remember: Research / statistics on infidelity indicates that receiving counseling after the discovery of an affair is the single best predictor of recovery.