Types of Infidelity

You don’t have to have sex to betray your partner.

There are many unstated assumptions when a couple commits to a monogamous relationship as to what infidelity means and doesn’t mean. When these assumptions are not clear and agreed upon they can cause a lot of misunderstanding and confusion later. What is helpful is to have a clear agreed-upon definition of what constitutes infidelity in YOUR relationship. It may be different than for other couples, which is fine as long as both partners whole-heartedly agree with the definition of “being faithful”. This working definition needs to be reviewed and updated at least once a year. (New Year’s Day is a good time to review this type of life goal).

Common types of infidelity include [but are not limited to]:

• Online / Internet affairs ( e.g., email, chat room)
• Involvement with pornography
• Sexual affairs
• Emotional affairs
• Telephone sex
• Sex Addiction (for more information / resources, see links page.)

Again, the most important point in preventing infidelity in your relationship is to have a clear, working definition to guide the actions of both partners. See the affair proofing section of this website for more ideas for helping your relationship deal with infidelity.

There is more information available on this topic, if you still have questions not answered by this section please call me. I’m usually available within 24-48 hrs to answer questions, schedule phone coaching sessions or office coaching/therapy sessions, or direct you to other resources.

Remember: Research / statistics on infidelity indicates that receiving counseling after the discovery of an affair is the single best predictor of recovery.