Healing as an Individual

Sometimes healing as a couple or forgiving and reconciling is just not possible.

Some blatant examples of this would be in relationships where there is no remorse, or there are repeated affairs over an extended period of time with no hope for real recovery, or there is an untreated sexual addiction or disorder, etc. Or, one can just choose not to forgive and reconcile.

There is no rule that says you have to.

However, you do have to make peace with it all to move forward with your life in the most positive manner. Not doing so puts you at risk for chronic depression, repeating the cycle of infidelity with another partner [remember YOUR contribution goes with you to another relationship], and/or relationship cynicism/pessimism or negative attitudes about a variety of things.

So it behooves you to figure a way to put it all in perspective, accept what happened, deal with it in a gentle, introspective, and insightful way so you can truly move on and not jump over the whole thing just so you can get on with your life.

If you have difficulty doing this, contact me and I can give you some individualized pointers and readings that may help.

BAN (Beyond Affairs Network)
A Support Group for Recovering from a Spouse’s Extramarital Affair

Please visit http://www.dearpeggy.com/lbc.html where you will find:

• BAN Support Group Overview
• The Backstory of BAN
• The Need for BAN
• BAN Guidelines
• Coordinator Information and Sign-up Form
• List of Cities with BAN Chapters
• Info if there is no BAN group in your City

There is more information available on this topic, if you still have questions not answered by this section please call me. I’m usually available within 24-48 hrs to answer questions, schedule phone coaching sessions or office coaching/therapy sessions, or direct you to other resources.

Remember:  Research / statistics on infidelity indicates that receiving counseling after the discovery of an affair is the single best predictor of recovery.

Affair and Infidelity Marriage Counselor and Counseling Resources

Judith Barnett
(919) 403-0400

Judith Barnett, Ph.D, Clinical Psychologist, Marriage Counselor & Infidelity Specialist in Chapel Hill, NC
20 Years Experience


Completed Externship in Emotionally Focused Therapy, June, 2011

Services Available:

-Certified Imago Relationship  Therapist & Marriage Counselor
-Individual Psychotherapy
-Marriage Counseling
-Relationship Counseling
-Imago Relationship Therapy
-Emotionally Focused Therapy for  couples: Completed Externship in  Emotionally Focused Therapy, June,  2011.
-Relationship Coaching
-Phone Consultations & Coaching  Sessions

Imago Relationship Therapy:
Imago Therapy